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Anon, trust me I've been through this and it does get better. As cliche as it sounds things have to get worse before they get better. My attempt at suicide was recent and I thought it was the only way but trust me theres so much more to live for you may not know it right now but you will know it soon. As depressed as I was I am happy i never pulled that trigger because my life has gotten better and urs will too, if you need help call 18002738255 they helped me survive and they can help u too